Shadow the Hedgehog: Another Parody
by The All Real Numbers Symbol
Summary: Just what this site needed: another parody of this game. Obviously,this is a parody of the Shadow the Hedgehog game. Holy cheese, Froggy, it's been updated. Chapter 6: Emerald Get or Back to the Ark.
1. Tree in The Middle of The Road

**Shadow the Hedgehog: Another Parody**

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**T.A.R.N.S.:** At my brothers insistance, I'm posting this story up. Just what this site needed; another parody of the Shadow the Hedgehog game. Don't worry, I still remember everything else I have to do.

**Caleb:** Important!! Shadow is out of Character.

**T.A.R.N.S.:** So don't tell us that in your review, we already know.

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It started one peaceful day as Shadow was standing under a tree in the middle of the highway.

"Hey buddy." A passing motorist told him. "Get your tree out of the middle of the highway."

"I didn't plant it here," Shadow told him. "I'm just standing under it. You get your car out of the highway."

"Cars belong on the highway." The motorist retorted. "Oh, never mind. You've already made me late." With that, he got back into his car, and turned and drove away.

Shadow looked at the tree. "Although, it does make you wonder how the tree got here." Just then a group of swirling red clouds appeared above the city. "Interesting weather we're having today." Shadow said. "I wonder if the media knows about this."

**WE INTERUPT YOUR REGULARLY SCHEDULED PARODY TO BRING YOU THIS IMPORTANT NEWS BULLETIN.**

"And now, here's Chad with the weather."

"Thanks Bob." Chad said. "Currently we're seeing red swirling clouds of doom over Westopolis. We calmly urge you to RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!! And in an unrelated story, there's a tree in the middle of the highway. It kinda makes you wonder how it got there. We now return to your regularly scheduled parody.

**BACK TO THE FIC**

A group of aliens fell from the cloud, wreaking havoc wherever the landed.

"Humph." Shadow said as he started to walk away. "I don't have time to deal with these stupid aliens. I'm missing my favorite soap opera."

Suddenly he heard a voice. "Shadow." He turned and saw a hologram being projected by a flying eye.

"Dad?" Shadow asked with tears in his eyes.

"What, NO!" The hologram said. "…well, yes, but you're not supposed to find that out until later."

"Okay." Shadow said. "Forget I ever said anything."

"Shadow," the alien repeated. "As you can see, the day of reckoning will soon be here. Bring me the seven Chaos Emeralds as promised."

"Wait," Shadow said. "When did I promise to give you the Emeralds? Oh wait, I think it's coming back to me now."

_#flashback#_

_An eight-year-old Shadow the Hedgehog skipped into the throne room of the Black Comet. _

_"Hey Dad," He asked. "Can I go play with the neighbor kids?" _

_"Did you clean your room like I asked you to?" Black Doom asked. _

_"Aww, Dad. How about I'll find you the seven Chaos Emeralds?" _

_"Okay, very well. You go play with the neighbor kids, I'll have one of my many servants clean your room, and you will deliver to me the seven Chaos Emeralds on the day of reckoning."_

_#end flashback#_

"THAT IS NOT HOW IT HAPPENED!!" a bunch of birds flew away as Black Doom screamed.

"Oh, did I project a flashback?" Shadow asked.

"Yes. And it was duly disturbing." Black Doom said.

Someplace far away, and currently unimportant to the story…

"What was that, Sonic?" Tails asked.

"Hmm. It sounds like Shadow is in trouble with some parental figure." Sonic said. "Let's go see!"

"Hey, look at those red clouds." Tails said. "That's a meteorological impossibility."

"Never mind the clouds, look at the aliens coming out of the clouds." Sonic said. "That's what's got me worried."

Anyway, back to the parody.

"Now go, bring me the seven Chaos Emeralds." Black Doom said.

"Alright, gees. You have a whole army but you need me to do your dirty work." Shadow said.

"Don't back sass me young man!" Black doom shouted. Shadow stuck his tongue out at Black Doom.

"Why, if I wasn't a hologram projected by a floating eye, I would punish you!" Black Doom said angrily.

"Oh no, not punished!" Shadow laughed as he walked away.

"Whatever." Doom's eye flew away.

**XXXXXXXXXXXX**

Shadow was walking through the streets of Westopolis, looking for the Chaos Emerald, when suddenly he heard screaming. Actually, it was one person screaming.

"AAAHHH!!" Sonic screamed as he flew through the air and landed in a face plant in front of Shadow.

"Hey Sonic. Did you trip on a rock while you were running, I hope?" Shadow asked. Sonic pulled his face out of the asphalt and spit out a mouthful of rocks. "No," he replied. "I was thrown. By that guy." Sonic pointed to a tall, menacing alien standing next to them.

"Don't take another step." Shadow warned the alien. "If you do, I'll be forced to use…The Force." The alien took another step. Shadow used the force to knock the alien back into a building.

"Uh…" Sonic said as he stood up. "I think that's copyrighted."

"Aww, I was just about to get out my lightsaber." Shadow said. That being said, Shadow Chaos Controlled over to the alien, did two chaos spears, punched him a couple of times, and then kicked him while he was down.

"Shadow," Sonic said, "no hero kicks the villain while he's down. Well, except me verses Eggman, but other than that…"

"Wow Sonic," Shadow said sarcastically. "You are such an encouraging hero."

"Thank you." Sonic said, completely missing the sarcasm.

"Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go find the seven Chaos Emeralds." Shadow said, and then he turned and skated away.

Sonic shrugged, and then raced away to the city to try to stop the aliens. "OW! Who put this tree in the middle of the road?"

**End chapter one**

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**T.A.R.N.S.: **So there you have it. Please leave a review, and tell us what you thought.


	2. Chaos Blast

**Shadow the Hedgehog: Another parody**

**Chapter 2**

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**T.A.R.N.S.:** I'd like to thank everyone who reviewed the last chapter, and I hope this meets your expectations.

**Disclaimer:** Sega owns the characters, and my Partner-In-Rhyme Caleb owns most of the jokes. The only thing I own is the ad.

* * *

"It was a tragic loss," Tails said in a dramatic voice, while trying hard not to laugh. "Roads had always been a safe place for Sonic to run on. Until the day he ran into a tree, which was somehow placed in the middle of the road."

"Oh, knock it off, Tails." Sonic said as he tried to stop his nosebleed. "Let's Just go see what Shadow is doing."

**XXXXXX**

Shadow stood in one of the many streets of Westopolis. "How am I supposed to find a Chaos Emerald in this huge city?" Behind him he could hear the echo of the word 'city'.

He turned around and saw a guy repeating the word 'city.' Shadow picked up a brick, and threw it at the guy's head. It hit him and clobbered him unconscious. Then the brick cracked open to reveal a Chaos Emerald inside.

"Wow." Shadow said. "That was a strangely convenient plot device." As he bent over to pick up the Emerald, He was instantly surrounded by thousands of G.U.N. soldiers. (Who had seemingly missed the fact that the city was being attacked by aliens.)

"Shadow the Hedgehog," a soldier said. "Surrender and step away from the Chaos Emerald, or we'll be forced to fire our really big guns at you.

"Step away from me," Shadow started or I'll be forced to use my," Shadow paused and took on a heroic pose and tone of voice and then finished, "Chaos Blast!"

Nothing happen.

Shadow quickly lost the pose and voice tone, grabbed the emerald and then repeated, "Chaos Blast." Instantly the soldiers were thrown back by a wave of red energy emitted from Shadow.

"Ha. Shadow smirked. "I knew that Chaos Blast would come in handy."

**WE INTERUPT YOUR REGULARLY SCHEDULED PARODY TO BRING YOU THIS AD**

**Chaos Blast**

Are you surrounded by G.U.N. soldiers that are about to destroy you, or worse, take you back to their base and turn you into their science experiment? Then try new Chaos Blast. Use a wave of red energy to knock your enemies back! Chaos Blast is not for everyone, including pink hedgehogs with stalker tendencies, red echidnas with tendencies to guard glowing rocks, two-tailed foxes with tinkering tendencies, and hyperactive blue hedgehogs with heroic tendencies. Side effects may include rash. Stop using Chaos Blast and consult your doctor if you believe you are starting to utilize and store Chaos energy, can perform Chaos Blast without an emerald, or you think that this ad is getting degenerately stupid.

Chaos Blast. Just use it.

**BACK TO THE FIC**

Shadow raced off through the streets of Westopolis, until he came upon the Lethal Highway.

"Hmm… I remember something about this place." Shadow said. "Something from the first chapter." Suddenly Shadow ran into the tree that was still in the middle of the road. "Oww." Shadow pulled his face out of the tree.

Just then Doom's Eye flew down. "Shadow, why are you goofing off? Why haven't you brought me the seven Chaos emeralds?"

"I was not goofing off." Shadow said as he stuck a yo-yo behind his back. "It's not like I can make the Emeralds magically appear. Besides, isn't it a little early to have all seven Emeralds?"

"It's never too early for the Day of Reckoning. Now stop back sassing me and go to the Glyphic Canyon." Doom's Eye said.

"Hey, how'd you know the next emerald was in Glyphic Canyon?" Shadow asked.

"Didn't you read the script?" Doom's Eye asked. Shadow reached into hammerspace and pulled out his copy of the script. Inside it said 'Ad-lib.'

"Ya." Shadow replied. "I read it. Why do you want the Chaos Emeralds?"

"Wouldn't you like to know. Now GO!" Doom's Eye said.

"Alright, alright, sheesh. I'm going." Shadow walked away.

**XXXXXX**

Knuckles walked through the Glyphic Canyon. Suddenly he heard screaming. He looked up to see Shadow go flying through the air and then he noticed that Shadow was going to land- right on his head!

Knuckles stuck his head out from under Shadow. "May I ask why you were flying through the air?"

"Springboard." Shadow replied. The two of them stood up.

"So, do you want to help me find the Chaos Emerald that's supposed to be here?"

"Why should I help you?" Knuckles wanted to know.

"I'll give you three good reasons." Shadow said. "One: You can be booted out of the story if you don't. Two: I told you to. Three: I have a yo-yo." Shadow held up the red yo-yo. Knuckles shrugged. "Works for me."

With that they set off.

**End**

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**T.A.R.N.S:** Please review and tell us what you thought.


	3. Tree Huggers Unite

**Shadow the Hedgehog: Another Parody**

**Chapter 3**

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**T.A.R.N.S.:** Here's chapter three.

Sorry it took so long for the question answers, but here they are:

Who did put that tree in the middle of the road? A gardener lost a seed in the middle of the road, and a tree grew from that seed.

What was with that strange flashback Shadow had? Uhh…amnesia?

How did Sonic not see that tree before he ran into it? It was better for the plot.

**Please note:**** Tree huggers may be insulted.**

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In the Glyphic Canyon, at the top of the mountain, there was a chaos emerald lying on a very high ledge. Then Shadow's hands appeared over the ledge, and he grabbed the ledge and pulled himself up. "

Yes!" He said. "I did it. They said I'd have to use Chaos Control, but they were wrong. I climbed the mountain, and I made it to Shell City, and I got the crown, and I rode the Hasselhoff, and…Wait, this doesn't seem right." Shadow checked his script. "_The Spongebob Squarepants Movie_? I wondered why my script had lines." Shadow threw the script over the cliff. He picked up the Chaos Emerald, then grabbed an American flag and stuck it in the ground.

"Hey buddy." Shadow turned and saw a different mountain climber standing next to a different flag. "Get your flag out of here. I was here first." The other guy said. Shadow took the his flag and threw it over the cliff. Undaunted, the mountain climber pulled out another flag and stuck it in the ground. Shadow threw the mountain Climber over the cliff, and then the flag.

Down on the mountain, Knuckles was climbing to catch up with Shadow, when suddenly he saw a script go falling to the ground, then a flag, then a mountain climber, than another flag, and then a turkey. "I'm not even gonna ask." Knuckles decided as he resumed climbing.

A few minutes later, he made it to the top of the mountain, and saw Shadow playing Texas Hold-Em Poker with a pile of rocks. "Shadow…What are you doing?" Knuckles asked. "Losing to these rocks." Shadow replied. Knuckles just stood there. "Why are you playing cards with rocks?" Knuckles asked. "Because the birds flew away when I tried to give them the cards." Shadow replied.

Knuckles decided it would be best not to comment on the situation.

"Now if you'll excuse me," Shadow stood up. "I'm going to Westopolis to get a Chaos Emerald that I sense is there." "And just what am I supposed to do?" Knuckles asked.

"Play with your yo-yo." Shadow said. "Chaos Control!" Shadow vanished.

"Oh well." Knuckles pulled out the yo-yo and started to play with it.

**XXXXXX**

"Aha." Sonic held up the Emerald he had found. Shadow came zooming towards the emerald at 3,000 miles per hour. Shadow dove for the emerald.

Sonic noticed this and put his hand down. Shadow went right past Sonic, zooming at breakneck speed towards the tree that was still in the middle of the road. He rammed headfirst into the tree, and nearly broke his neck.

The fact that a hedgehog had been coming at it at 3,000 miles an hour had not harmed the tree. Shadow noticed this and started to seethe. "Why can't I destroy this stupid tree?"

"You can't hurt the tree." Sonic told him. "It's an oak." Shadow growled in frustration. "Chaos…"

_At some Arbor Day society somewhere…_

A tree hugger was typing at a computer when he was suddenly seized with terrible pains. He clutched his stomach and started to groan. Another tree hugger came in. "What's wrong, Steve?" he asked.

"Someone's about to destroy a tree." Steve told him. "Now we have what kind of tree it is." The other guy said as Steve collapsed. "If it's an oak, we don't have to worry. Now if it was a pineapple tree, then we'd have to worry."

In Hawaii, a bird landed on a pineapple tree, which promptly collapsed.

The other tree hugger clutched his throat as he collapsed.

The other tree huggers came over to see what was wrong with there friends.

Somewhere far away and prone to wild fires, a forest was burning.

The rest of the tree huggers started to writhe in pain and then collapsed. Apparently no one told them that trees do grow back, and that pineapples don't grow on trees.

Anyway, back to Westopolis.

"Blast!" Shadow unleashed a Chaos Blast that leveled the whole city…except for the tree.

"I still can't destroy that tree!" Shadow was not happy, but there was no time to worry about that, for just then the media arrived.

**WE INTERUPT YOUR REGULARLY SCHEDULED PARODY TO BRING YOU THIS IMPORTANT NEWS BULLETIN**

"And now, here's Chad in Westopolis." "Thanks Bob." Chad said. "I'm here with the weird angry black hedgehog that just leveled Westopolis. Mr. Hedgehog, why did you level Westopolis?

'Maybe if I act like a hedgehog, they won't think I did anything,' Shadow thought. "Umm…uh…moo?"

"Works for me," Chad said. "Rare black mooing hedgehog in Westopolis. Now I'm going to go over there and see if I can get that other hedgehog to moo."

The camera stayed on Shadow as Chad walked away, and a moment later they could hear Sonic.

"Ow! What are you doing?" Sonic asked. "Trying to get you to moo." Chad said as his camera man caught up with him.

Just then some people who were attempting to act like the Tokyo Mew Mews ran by. "Moo Moo Power, Away." They shouted

"Okay….." Sonic shrugged and turned back to Chad. "Hedgehogs don't moo."

"Well, that black one just did." Chad said.

Sonic looked at Shadow, who waved back. "That guy? You can't trust him, he's crazy, and he has Amnesia. OW! Would you stop that?"

"Sorry," Chad said. "This is Chad saying I wish I'd taken that job in London. The most I'd have to worry about there is Werewolves."

**WE NOW RETURN TO YOUR REGULARLY SCHEDULED PARODY**

As Shadow was plotting new ways to destroy the tree, Black Doom appeared next to him. "Ahhh!" Shadow screamed and pointed at Black Doom. "You have no legs!" Shadow ran screaming in circles raising a terrible commotion until he ran into the tree and knocked himself unconscious.

"Wake up Shadow." Black Doom ordered him. "What- I wasn't asleep." Shadow stood up.

"We have to destroy Central City." Black Doom told him. "Why," Shadow asked. "Because my script says to do it, and the script is never wrong." Black Doom said.

"Are you sure? Look what my script says: Winnie the Pooh, Winnie the Pooh….oh wait this isn't my script. I'll just take your word for it." Shadow said.

**To Be Continued**

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**T.A.R.N.S.:** And there you have it. I don't own Tokyo Mew Mew/ Mew Mew Power or the Spongebob Squarepants movie, or any other pop culture references I missed.

**Caleb:** And some un-culture references...(Winnie the Pooh) ; )

Please review and tell us what you thought.


	4. Shadow is Special

**Shadow the Hedgehog: Another Parody**

**Chapter 4**

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**T.A.R.N.S.:** Yeah, it's an update. Incredible, ain't it? But people liked the story, so I had to continue it.

* * *

"Now, teleport us to Space Colony Ark." Black Doom ordered.

"Okay, okay, this is what I've been training for," Shadow paused and cleared his throat. "Chaos…Control."

The two of them vanished and reappeared seconds later at McFarmer's.

"SHADOW!!" Black Doom was angry.

"What? I'm hungry. I haven't eaten in three chapters." Shadow said as he held up two fingers. Then he turned to the person at the counter and placed his order. "I'd like a Big Farm, large fries, and a diet Choke."

"Here's your order sir." The guy said as he handed Shadow his food.

At this time it is important to note that the guy behind the counter did not notice the giant evil alien directly behind Shadow. It was just another average day for the guy behind the counter.

"Shadow…" Black Doom was getting impatient.

"Okay, okay," Shadow said as best he could with a burger in his mouth.

If Black Doom had had a foot, he would have been tapping it as he waited for Shadow to finish. "Are you quite finished now?"

"Yep." Shadow threw his drink on the floor, creating a huge mess. "Chaos…Control!"

**XXXXXX**

0.00005 seconds later, Shadow was on Space Colony Ark.

"Man, I'm getting slow." Shadow muttered as he appeared out of the warp.

"So what would prefer, .00001 seconds?" Sonic asked.

"Well actually…" Shadow stopped as he realized something. "Hey, how did you get up here before me?"

Sonic took a deep breath and prepared to explain, when he realized something. "You know, I don't know."

Black Doom appeared a moment.

Shadow laughed and pointed at him. "Hahaha…you're slow."

"Shadow," Black Doom growled, then his tone changed. "We are ready. Fire the Eclipse Cannon."

Shadow went to push the button.

"Shadow, wait! Don't push the button!" Sonic called.

Shadow stopped.

"Push the button." Black Doom ordered.

Shadow went to push the button.

"No, Shadow! Don't push the button." Sonic said.

Shadow stopped.

"Shadow, remember, you work for the dark side." Black Doom said. "Besides, the Dark side has a good dental plan."

"Oh, Dental." Shadow replied.

"Shadow, wait!" Sonic said. "Join the good side. We have a nice benefits package…and paid vacations."

"Oh, boy, paid vacations! I'm in. Sorry pops…wait; I'm not supposed to know that. Never mind." Shadow said as he turned around. As he did, he accidentally leaned against the consul. A pop-up appeared on the screen: 'Preparing to fire Eclipse Canon.'

"NO!" Sonic screamed and pulled out two quills.

"Sorry Sonic, looks like I'm on the evil side." Shadow said.

Then another pop-up appeared: Out of Ammo.

"NO!" Black Doom pulled his two horns off.

Shadow shrugged. "Sorry Pops, looks like I'm on the good side. Well, I'm off to go see what soaps are on."

_-Flash Forward-_

Shadow was sitting on the couch, holding a tub of ice cream, and watching the All Soaps channel. (All Soaps all the time!)

"Oh, Jeremy," The voice came from the television. "Don't leave me."

"I must. I have to perform this operation."

"No, please don't go. I'm afraid you might not come back."

"I'm a doctor, I must."

"Oh, Jeremy, Tell me you love me."

Shadow took another bite of ice cream as the TV announcer said, "Tune in next week for the conclusion.

_-End flash-forward-_

"I love that show." Shadow said. As he turned to leave, though, he whacked the button again, and the eclipse canon promptly fired.

"NO!" Sonic fainted as Black Doom laughed maniacally.

But in the meantime, the Earth had been rotating, and instead of hitting Central City the blast hit the newly rebuilt city of Westopolis.

**WE INTERUPT YOUR STORY FOR A SOMEWHAT UNIMPORTANT NEWS BULLETIN**

"Good evening everyone. I'm Chad, and I'm standing here in the newly rebuilt Westopolis, where the mayor is about the make an important announcement…" But before Chad could go on, someone said,

"Look, up in the sky. It's a bird."

"No, it's a plane," A second person added.

"No, it's a fiery laser beam of death!" A third person added.

"No it's Superma…no wait, you're right."

**XXXXXX**

Back on Space Colony Ark, everyone was looking down at the fiery destruction that was Westopolis.

"Hey, look, they're having a party down there." Shadow said.

"No, Shadow, we destroyed the city…again… but this time with the Eclipse Canon." Black Doom told. "Oh, how did I end up with a nincompoop for a son?"

"Hey," Shadow protested. "I am not a nincompoop. Mommy said I was special."

Black Doom and Sonic stared at Shadow, then Black Doom asked, "How would you remember?"

"What, I can't remember that I'm special?" Shadow asked.

There was a long momentary pause. Crickets could be heard chirping. (How did crickets to Space Colony Ark?)

Then Sonic coughed. "Well, I'd love to stay up here with coughallyoucrazypeoplecough but the Black Arms are attacking, and I must do something!" Sonic struck a very dramatic pose and the American flag waved behind him.

Shadow and Black Doom stared at him.

"Well……. Good luck with that…" Black Doom told him.

"Oh well. I'm off." With that, Sonic put himself in a capsule and launched himself towards Earth.

After Sonic had gone, Black Doom turned to Shadow.

"Now, Shadow, resume collecting the Chaos Emeralds." Black Doom ordered.

"Yes, Master." Shadow held his arms out like a zombie and started walking away, muttering, "I must have a brain for my master, I must have a brain for my master."

"That's only because you don't have one I can take!" Black Doom told him.

Shadow started to sob, "...But… but… you, you…. I wanna go live with Mom! Waaaaahh!"

"You can't, she's dead." Black Doom replied.

"Well…Well, YOU'RE NOT THE BOSS OF ME!" Shadow said, teary eyed. Then the black hedgehog ran off sobbing.

* * *

**T.A.R.N.S.:** -.- Why must you make a nincompoop of Shadow?

**Caleb:** Because Shadow's special :3

**T.A.R.N.S.:** Yeah... please review...I suppose.


	5. I Found It On eBay

**Shadow the Hedgehog: Another Parody**

**Chapter 5**

* * *

It started the next day in Westopolis, where Shadow was trying to destroy the tree in the middle of the road.

Shadow beat his fist against the trunk of the tree. "Don't make me get out the Roundup!"

"Shadow, what are you doing?" Black Doom asked as he phased up through the road.

"I'm tired of looking for your dumb Chaos Emeralds, so I'm taking care of this tree." Shadow said proudly.

"What!" Black Doom replied. "This is more IMPORTANT! Now go to Lethal Highway and get the next emerald!"

"Wait" Shadow replied "Lethal. Highway…"

A little while later, Shadow found himself at the start of Lethal Highway.

"Well this doesn't seem so bad" Shadow said.

He stepped down off the sidewalk and onto the road, and was instantly run over by a car.

"Darn road rage…"

Tails walked up a moment later. "Shadow?" Tails asked. "Is that you?"

"Well it isn't the Easter bunny" Shadow replied as he pulled his face out of the cement. "But what are you doing here?"

"Sonic sent me here to get the next Chaos Emerald." Tails replied.

"WHAT!? Sonic knows I'm looking for the Chaos Emeralds. I'll have to kill him for this later." Shadow said.

Tails was not perturbed by this statement. "On second thought, rather than get the Emerald and give it to Sonic, I think I'll take the Emerald and go sell it on eBay. Then I can buy that part I need for the X-Tornado."

"What part is that?"

"A cool flame sticker." Tails said, and then he hopped down off the sidewalk and started walking down the road.

"You'll have to beat me to that Emerald!" Shadow shouted. He hopped down off the sidewalk onto the road, and was promptly run over by another car.

"Of course, I could just go lurk around eBay for awhile."

* * *

Back on the Black Comet, Shadow sat in front of the computer, typing his new bid into the box. There were five minutes left on the auction.

"Gee, the price on that Emerald is really soaring. It's a good thing Black Doom let me borrow his credit card."

Meanwhile, Black Doom, who had been searching everywhere for his missing credit card, floated into the room. "Shadow, have you seen my- Shadow!! I did NOT say you could borrow my credit card!!"

"Umm…I don't have it…Your minion does!"

The minion, who was standing near the computer, told Shadow, "Don't try to pin this on me."

"Well, c'mon Dad, I'm just doing what you said and collecting the Chaos Emeralds." Shadow pointed out.

"Well yes, but I didn't say you could spend my RETIREMENT MONEY! And don't call me dad. You're not supposed to know that yet."

"Oh yeah, sorry."

"Well it's a tad to late for that."

"Oh! Hold on! It's the last five seconds of the bid." Shadow began rapidly typing.

"Why did I ever want to have kids?" Black Doom wondered.

"Because," His obnoxiously helpful minion replied. "You wanted to someone to inherit the throne."

Black Doom blasted the minion.

"Gee Dad, that was cold." Shadow said.

"Shut up or you're next."

"_Congratulations._" The computer voice said. "_You have purchased the yellow Chaos Emerald. The final cost is _100,000 rings, _plus 19.95 shipping and handling._"

"I think I'll pay now." Shadow said as he clicked on the pay now button.

"_PayPal or credit?_" The computer asked.

"Credit!" Shadow replied.

"I think I'll go off and cry now." Black Doom said as he floated away.

"Yeah! Now All I have to do is wait four to six weeks for the Emerald to arrive." Shadow said happily.

-

Meanwhile, on a computer back on Earth, Sonic stared at the computer screen.

"Rats!" He exclaimed. "I can't believe I lost the Emerald to _TotallynotShadow_."

Anyways…

* * *

**- 7 weeks later -**

"Where is that stinking Emerald?!" Black Doom shouted. "It's been seven weeks already!"

"Well, If Tails won't send the Emerald to me; I'll just go down to his workshop and take it from him." Shadow stated.

"Why didn't you just do that IN THE FIRST PLACE!?" Black Doom demanded.

Shadow considered this. "I don't know." There was a brief pause, then Shadow, "Well, see you later Pops." Shadow said as he raced out the door.

"When you get back, you're cleaning that mess you made in the living room!" Black Doom called after him. He then turned and began floating away, muttering once more, "Kids. Why did I ever have a kid?"

"Because you wanted someone to inherit the Black Arms throne after you died." The same obnoxiously helpful minion from before pointed out.

"Do you want me hurt you again?" Black Doom asked.

"No," The minion replied as he slunk away.

* * *

Down in his workshop, Tails was busily working on the X-Tornado.

"Hey, I see the problem." He said, his voice muffled from his being under the hood of the ship. "These two wires came unconnected. I'll just put them back together."

A moment and two wires connected later, the cockpit exploded.

"Or… maybe that _wasn't_ the problem."

A moment later, Shadow appeared in the workshop via Chaos Control.

"Tails, I want that Emerald. It's been weeks, and I'm tired of waiting for it." Shadow announced.

Tails gasped. "You're _TotallynotShadow_? For awhile there, I thought you were Sonic."

"What did Sonic say his name was?" Shadow asked.

"_TotallynotSonic_."

"He ripped me off. Well, what'd you do with the Emerald? I demand that you give it to me. I paid a lot of money for it."

"I just gave it to the mailman a minute ago." Tails said.

Shadow looked out the window. The mailman was just getting into his truck to drive away.

"Great." Shadow muttered sarcastically. "Now I'll have to go to the post office and get it. What took you so long to send it, anyway?"

"I had to find an emerald-shaped box."

"You found an emerald-shaped box?"

"Yep."

"I'm not even going to ask." Shadow decided as he turned and headed out the door.

* * *

After grief and anguish, Shadow finally managed to retrieve the Emerald from the post office. He immediately Chaos Controlled back to the Black Comet and tossed the box to Black Doom.

"Here you go, Pops." Shadow said as he tossed the box to Black Doom. "The next Emerald."

Black Doom held up the Emerald-shaped box. "Where did he get an emerald-shaped box?"

"I don't know."

"Whatever. Just go finish finding the rest of the Emeralds." Black Doom ordered.

* * *

**- WE INTERUPT YOUR FANFICTION FOR AN IMPORTANT NEWS BULLETIN! -**

"I'm Chad here in Station Square with large purple feline Big the Cat." Chad the Reporter said. "I'm not going to say his name fits… but anyways, Mr. Big the Cat has just found another Chaos Emerald. Mr. Big the Cat, what are you going to do with the Emerald?"

"Uh…. I'm gonna use it as bait to catch a fish." Big replied. Froggy, still sitting on Big's shoulder, gave a ribbit.

Off the upper side of the screen, viewers watched as Shadow reached over, pulled the Emerald out Big's hand, and replaced it with a rock.

Chad gasped. "Did you see that? You saw it here first. The rare mooing black hedgehog has just stolen a Chaos Emerald. "I'm Chad here in Station Square saying, Follow that hedgehog!"

**BACK TO THE FIC!**

-

Black Doom sighed as he picked up the remote and turned the TV off. "Well, at least he's an obedient hedgehog."

* * *

**T.A.R.N.S.:** Hmm... And there you have chapter 5.

**Caleb:** Froggy were my bait go??

**T.A.R.N.S.:** Yeah... Anyway, please review.


	6. Chapter 6

**Shadow the Hedgehog: Another Parody**

**Chapter 6**

* * *

Shadow had been wandering around the city, using his innate ability to track down the Chaos Emeralds.

"Hey, I sense one nearby!" He took off and tracked the Emerald down, right to the offices of the Team Chaotix.

"Well guys, I hope you're ready to take on our new job, one guaranteed to earn us lots and lots of rings!" Vector announced to his team.

"You know, Vector, rings aren't everything." Espio felt compelled to point out.

There was a brief pause, then Vector laughed. "Haha, you're funny."

Before Espio could give his biting comeback, Shadow burst in through the door. "Give me that Chaos Emerald that I know you have!" He said.

"What Chaos Emerald?" Espio asked incredulously. "We don't have a Chaos Emerald."

"Sure we do." Charmy piped up. "It's right over there, in the glass case."

"Darn you Charmy." Vector said. "Don't show off the merchandise before we make the deal."

"Ha! I knew you had a Chaos Emerald." Shadow said. "Now give it over."

Vector considered this. "I'll strike you a deal. You help us fight Black Arms and make a bunch of money, and we'll give you the Chaos Emerald."

"That sounds like fun." Shadow said in a voice reminiscent of Billy from the Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy. "I'm sure my dad will approve."

* * *

Back on the Black Comet, Black Doom was sitting at his desk in his study. In one hand, he was holding an extremely oversized coffee mug that he was drinking out of, and he was using the other hand to write.

Suddenly the door opened and a rather beat-up looking Black Oak stumbled into the room.

"Sir, we're being attacked down at the Cryptic Castle. We've taken severe damage, and we can barely fight back!"

"Who's doing this?" Black Doom demanded.

The was a momentary pause, then the Black Oak said, "Guess."

"I'm gonna kill that kid."

* * *

Shadow and the Team Chaotix were still fighting the Black Arms in the Cryptic Castle when a rather irritated Black Doom showed up.

"SHADOW!!!" Black Doom shouted.

Shadow turned off his Hoover Shoes and skidded to a stop. "You rang?" He asked in his somewhat back-to-normal voice.

"Yes I did. What are you doing?!?"

"Me and my friends are stopping the Black Arms." Shadow said with a big smile on his face.

"Need I remind you that the Black Arms are my army?"

"Oh yeah. …. Oops."

"Opps isn't going to cut it young man!" Black Doom shouted. "When you finish getting the Emeralds you're going to your room, mister!"

"I don't have to do what you tell me to do." Shadow retorted. "I've gotten along just fine without you for the last 65 years."

"You were in suspended animation for fifty of those years," Black Doom pointed out.

"So? I did just fine doing nothing."

Black Doom scowled. "Stop destroying my army and finish collecting those Chaos Emeralds."

"Fine." Shadow said.

As Black Doom Chaos Controlled away, Shadow turned to the Chaotix.

"Sorry guys, I'll have to take the Chaos Emerald and leave now. My dad doesn't want me destroying his army."

"Aaww," Charmy said. "But hey, what about those?" He pointed at the Black Hawks flying around the sky above the castle.

"Yeah, he didn't say I couldn't destroy birds." Shadow said.

"We're not birds." One of the Black Hawks informed him.

Shadow considered this. "He didn't say I couldn't defeat pterodactyls."

"We're not pterodactyls, either."

"Chaos…"

"Aww, shoot."

"…Blast."

Everything within a three mile radius was destroyed.

Vector coughed, sending a cloud of ash flying out of his mouth. "Could you watch where you're aiming that thing?"

"Not really." Shadow replied. "Now give me the Emerald."

"Here you go." Vector pulled out the gem and handed it to Shadow.

"YES!!" Shadow spun around and held up the Chaos Emerald in one hand. "Emerald Get!"

Nintendo's lawyers glared at him. "Hey you, stop ripping off our ideas or we'll sue your sorry hide."

"Sorry sir." Shadow replied. "Now I'm off to get the other Chaos Emerald from Sonic." He held up the Emerald again. "Chaos Control!"

"Stupid Sega ripping off our ideas." The lawyer muttered.

"What do you mean stupid Sega?" Another lawyer asked. "I think you mean stupid authors." He shook his fist at the sky. "Stupid authors!!"

* * *

In front of their computer, Caleb and T.A.R.N.S. looked at each other.

"Why are we writing ourselves into legal trouble?" T.A.R.N.S. asked.

"Because it's hilarious." Caleb told her.

* * *

In the meantime, Shadow had arrived at Tails' workshop, were Sonic was supposed to be rooming at. He dramatically kicked down the door.

"What'd you do that for?" Tails asked. "Now I'll have to buy a new door…or at least some new hinges."

"Where's Sonic?" Shadow demanded. "I have to get the Emerald he has."

"He's in the kitchen eating all my chili dogs," Tails sniffed.

"Uh-huh," Shadow muttered unfeelingly. "I have deep sympathy for you." He dramatically kicked down the kitchen door.

"Would you quit doing that!?!" Tails shrieked.

Shadow stomped over to Sonic, who was piling chili dogs on a plate, and told him, "Sonic, give me the Chaos Emerald."

"I don't have it anymore." Sonic told him. In the background was the sound of a vinyl record being stopped.

"What? What do you mean you don't have it anymore? I already kicked down two of Tails' doors." Shadow said.

"You're gonna pay for those." Tails called to him.

"Eggman took it. I set it down under a tree so I could go get a chili dog from the chili dog stand. Apparently while I was getting the food, one of Eggman's robots stole the Emerald and left a note saying "_you're a loser_."

"Sonic, you've got to lay off the chili dogs." Shadow told him.

"I know." Sonic said as he took a bite out of another chili dog.

"Anyway, I've got to get to Eggman's base." Shadow said.

* * *

Meanwhile, at Dr. Eggman's base, Eggman sat in his would-be evil dictator's chair, twirling his moustache.

"I've got it!" He announced. "I'll design a new robot. Instead of Metal Sonic, I'll get Robo-Sonic! It's genius."

Two seconds later…

"No, that's a stupid idea." Eggman said. "I got it! I'll make a bunch of 'lost' posters for the Chaos Emeralds. Then everyone will help me the Emeralds because they feel sorry for me. No wait, everyone hates me."

As Eggman was pondering this, Shadow kicked the door in. "Dr. Eggman, give me the Chaos Emerald." Shadow demanded.

"Shadow…why'd you break down my door?"

"Because, it was …locked?"

"No it wasn't.

"Oh," Shadow said. "Anyway, give me the Chaos Emerald."

A light bulb went on in Eggman's head. "I'll make you a deal. You help me take over the world, and I'll give you the Chaos Emerald."

"Can't. My dad wants me to help him take over the world." Shadow replied.

"Since when do you have a dad?"

"Since around chapter one."

"I don't have the Emerald. I put it in Space Colony Ark." Eggman told him.

"So what are you saying?" Shadow asked. "You were going to trick me into helping you take over the world?"

"It worked in Sonic X."

"Wait, what's Sonic X?

"It's better that you don't know. Terrible show. I always lost." Eggman replied.

"Well, it's been fun and all, but I'm going to Space Colony Ark." Shadow told him. "Chaos…Control."

* * *

0.00003 seconds later, Shadow arrived on Space Colony Ark. "This place seems familiar me somehow." He said. "Like, someone important, to some sort of plot."

"Shadow, is that?" A voice from behind him asked.

Shadow spun around and saw… "Ah! A Ghost! Don't hurt me!"

Maria sighed. "I'm not here to hurt you."

Shadow's eyes grew watery. "Maria, is that you?"

"Well, kind of." Maria admitted.

"MARIA!" Shadow joyfully shrieked as he jumped towards her to try and hug her, only to go straight through her and fall flat on his face.

Maria sighed, again. "I'm a ghost, you idiot."

"Oh yeah." Shadow said as he picked himself up off the floor. "So what are you doing here?"

"I'm going to pointlessly follow you around as you go through Space Colony Ark." Maria said.

"So you're going to be my partner who follows me around and helps me target enemies?" Shadow asked.

"No, actually I'm just going to follow you around for no particular reason." Maria replied.

"Oh, that makes sense." Shadow replied. "Well, let's go find the Chaos Emerald that's supposed to be here."

And with that, the two of them set off through Space Colony Ark to find a Chaos Emerald.

* * *

**T.A.R.N.S.:** And you thought this story was dead. Anyway, we finally got this finished, so now everyone gets to read it. R&R, please.


End file.
